I’ve been facing a pile of midterms and cases for the past week. I’ve also been a little under the weather, so instead of leaving the apartment, I’ve been spending my study breaks going crazy on yelp – I even clocked in on the top 1,000 this week. My crowning achievement was the following review of Pokez Mexican Restaurant:
OK look people, I know everybody freaks out about Pokez and how that waiter yelled at that differently abled kid that one time. And I know there have been 10,000,000,000 reviews about how bad the service is and another 10 billion on how good the food is. So yes, I agree with all that – Pokezes’s (possessive?) food is as amazingly good as their service is amazingly bad, and they should definitely not be aggressive towards their special needs clientele.
So let me give you some tips about how to deal with Pokez. Right when you go in, if there is an open table, don’t wait, just take it. Be really loud on the way and make your presence known so that they bring you menus. While in the restaurant, don’t ask questions about the menu – if you are the type of person that likes to ask questions about the menu, ask them of someone you know beforehand. That’s why the menu is downloadable online. Besides, it’s a Mexican joint – ordering here is not rocket science. In fact, it’s best if you know what you want the second you arrive, because if you ever send the waiter away it WILL take 15 minutes for him to come back even if you are the only person in the resturant. But, and here’s the key, this should not at all be a surprise. You know the service is terrible, so you have to adjust. Don’t act like you would in a normal restaurant. If you feel compelled to tip them, realize that you’re doing it for the cooks, and for that sweet sweet vegan chorizo. Straight to the veins, baby.
What I am really proud of though is that so far, more people have rated this review “useful” than rated it “funny” or “cool.” I like to add value.
Post a Comment